Day 28: Subject Has Made A Tactical Error.

This morning I was in a shower that was not my own.  As it had been a while since last I washed my hair, I decided the time had come to brave the terror of someone else's shampoo.  What's the worst that could happen?  I thought.  

Just so do the lemmings think, as they plunge over the cliff's edge.

The first shampoo I tried didn't seem bad at first whiff, but as I lathered up the overwhelming smell of concentrated "fragrance for men" began to assault my poor nose.  I couldn't believe that something so powerfully scented could come from such an unassuming little grey bottle.  Hastily I began to rinse, but I could tell it was already too late.  My hair was clean, but DAMN was it stinky.

Like I'd bathed in this, actually.

With a great deal of resignation I came to the conclusion that I would need to wash my hair a second time.  I'm not much in the way of hair care--I barely wash it once a week, let alone twice in the same day--but desperate times call for desperate measures.  I poked around and found another shampoo, one with pleasantly hippy-crunchy advertising on the label.  Again I did a sniff test and could sense nothing horrendous.  Just a deep, musky smell that would likely be odd for me, but not overpowering.  With slightly more trepidation than the previous time, I again lathered up and set to washing my hair.

I do not know what bizarre alchemical process happened between these two shampoos.  I do not know why they reacted to each other the way that they did.  I am not a cosmetologist, to know such things. 

What I do know is that my head currently smells like an entire, freshly-deoderized football team has rubbed their armpits directly into my head, and that the quarterback must have been some kind of hipster, because I am currently existing in a miasma of Old Spice and patchouli.  

The face of misery.

Dear universe, please may I have my shower back?