Day 33: Things I Am DONE With.

I'm not sure why I'm suddenly done with things.  

Maybe it's because it's spring, and a time for new beginnings.  Maybe it's that I'm really starting to internalize the idea that if people don't like me for who I am, then they're not worth my time to begin with.  Or maybe it's because I've been doing this blog, and if you keep talking about acceptance eventually you start thinking about the things you're NOT gonna accept.

Maybe it's all of these things.  Who knows.

But, whatever the reason, today I am offering up to you a list of "Things I Am DONE With."  

Bras:
Oh, you didn't expect me to start with unmentionables?  Well, we'll get to expectations in a minute.  For now we're talking about the modern torture devices that cost a ridiculous amount of money to make yourself terribly uncomfortable.

 Behold.  A Bra.

I am tired of bras.  I accept sports bras as a valid article of clothing.  If I'm dancing, or jumping on a trampoline, a sports bra can be my friend.  But, for the most part, I do not spend my days on a trampoline.  I spend them sitting at my computer, writing, and that is NOT AN ACTIVITY THAT REQUIRES BOOB SUPPORT.

I get that there are folks out there with larger chests than mine.  That bras are actually MORE comfortable for them than going without.  I say "you do you" to all of them.  You wanna wear a bra?  I support you in that.  But I am tired of bras being the standard.  Like I'm somehow scandalous without one.  Like the natural shape of my body is unacceptable somehow, or like my nipples are so shocking I need to hide them under even MORE layers of fabric.  

Bras can bite me.

Bullshit:
This is a broad category, but I don't feel like narrowing it down.  I am tired of all manner of things that I classify as complete manure, from social stigmas that are rooted in foolishness to the outright deceptions we practice on each other.

 Hold on to your britches, cause the gag is coming off.

I dislike when people aren't genuine.  Sometimes they're doing it for a perfectly good reason--I, for instance, edit myself on a regular basis so as not to shock other people.  For a long time that seemed to me like a great reason, but recently I'm growing dissatisfied with it.  I will edit myself in order to be kind.  I will edit myself in order to be loving.  I will edit myself in order to be soothing, or helpful, or thoughtful.  But I am done censoring myself because it's not considered okay to talk about reality.  If I shock you then that's fine, you go right ahead and be shocked.  I'm gonna keep talking.

So, yes, you DID just hear me explain what the song Hotline Bling is about to my eight year old while in the milk aisle of the grocery store.  And yes, I then went on to discuss the concepts of relationship equality and booty calls.  

And yes, when you asked me that question I really did answer you honestly.  I always will.  Perhaps, instead of asking me to lie to you, you should consider if you actually want to ask the question.  Because I'll answer as gently as possible, but whatever I say is going to be the truth.

Expectations:
Let's clarify something real quick.  Expectations and commitments are different.  Commitments are things that I agreed to do, and it is totally reasonable to expect me to do those things.  Expectations are the things YOU decided I would do, without first getting my agreement.  And while I might, on occasion, agree to turn an expectation into a commitment, in general you shouldn't count on it.  Because I am getting damn tired of expectations.  

My strongest commitments.

We all start out being laden with expectations.  When we're children, there's no other way to live--we aren't old enough to actually make commitments.  And our parents, via their expectations of us, teach us the right commitments to make.  But along the way some other expectations get tucked into our minds, until we find ourselves doing things we never really agreed to do, without fully evaluating our reasons behind it.

I am done with expectations.  Not just the new ones, but the old ones, too.  I'm rooting them out.  Bras and Bullshit are just two of them.  I am no longer wasting time and energy on standards that I neither agreed TO nor agree WITH.  And you know what?  I actually think it's going to make me a nicer person.  Certainly a better one.  Because when you know that you honestly and sincerely agree with all the restrictions that you place on yourself, you're less likely to chafe at them.  You're less stressed by them.  You're less likely to go off the rails.

So, fellow gentlefolk, today I am taking a stand.  A stand against expectations.  A stand against bullshit.  And, yes, a stand against bras--which might not be as important but I am tired of them and this is my blog so I get to write what I want.

Viva la revolución.