Day 75: The Fine Line; A Word on Victims

(For Parts One, Two, and Three, click the links.)

Sometimes we don't name what has happened to us because we don't want to be a victim.

We don't want to make a fuss, or cause a scene, or blow things out of proportion.

We don't want to be weak, or fragile, or in need of saving.

We don't want to feel foolish, or duped, or wonder how we could have wound up in the wrong situation in the first place.

I just want to say, in a very loud, clear, and un-hesitating voice:

That's all bullshit.

If you're being mistreated, make all the fuss you want.  Cause a scene and make others take notice.  Don't second guess your own judgement, your proportion is likely 100% correct.

You aren't fragile, or weak, any more than the victims in a bombing were fragile or weak.  You wound up in the wrong place, in the wrong situation, and you got hurt.  It wasn't your fault and it didn't happen because you somehow earned it.

You weren't foolish.  Roughly a third of the population has been abused at some point.  ONE-THIRD.  It stretches across all demographics, and though it is heavily weighted by gender, that is the only consistent factor (and is probably skewed, due to under reporting of emotional abuse by men).  This is a bad thing that happens to roughly a third of the population and you did not cause it.

Victims aren't weak.  They are strong people who lived through something bad.

That's all.