Day 98: I Am Angry

I am angry, my loves. 

I am so angry that it's taking over every aspect of my life.  I cannot get through a day without constantly fighting the urge to just let it out, in whatever way presents itself to me.  But I know that wouldn't be fair, or right, so I choke it down, and it returns to my belly where it simmers and waits to erupt. 

I cannot find a healthy way to vent this anger, either, because I am angry about things that have no obvious or easy solution.  Do I need to list them?  Aren't you all angry, too?  That skin color is still a source of hate, that religion is still such a divisive thing, that whether or not one of your chromosomes has an extra tail on it is such a big damn deal? 

Aren't we all angry?

I look at the news and I see disaster everywhere.  Nazis are rising in America.  White people STILL haven't figured out racism is our problem.  Women are having laws passed that oppose their medical health.  The poor are going to lose their insurance. 

The planet is headed towards being uninhabitable by humanity, and we watch helplessly as coal and oil money buys us another few minutes on the doomsday clock.  Countries sell their rainforest to developers, we back out of climate agreements, we still can't fucking agree on simple facts!

Two mad men with nuclear weapons are playing chicken.

WHAT THE HELL, PEOPLE?

AREN'T WE ALL ANGRY?

I know it's unlike me to leave it like this.
Normally I try to turn to hope.  To joy.  To something that reminds me of the good.
But not this time.
This time all I've got--all I keep telling myself--is that anger is better than despair.

So I suppose I'll just keep being angry.