This quote has been flying around online quite a bit, mostly as a response to the "wait and see" folks in regards to our new President-Elect. But this past week I've been thinking about it in it's original context, as I've thought about my own life and talked to my friend quite a lot about hers.
I don't know why we, as people (possibly as women? Although I'm not sure it's limited to women) have such a hard time believing in the reality other people choose to show us.
Is it a biological trait, to focus on the hints of good even when we can see the glaring bad?
Is it something socialized into us, by the fairy tale mythology of every story we're ever told, where if you love someone hard enough--either as a lover or a friend or a parent--you can save them from their own internal demons?
Is it simply laziness? Do we abhor the idea of trying to go out and form a new bond so thoroughly that we'd rather pretend our current bondee isn't a total asshat?
I don't know. I don't know the cause. But what I do know is that Maya Angelou was right. People will say all sorts of things, but when someone shows you who they are, you should believe them the first time. It will save you a world of pain.
People don't change because you care about them. You do not have magical refining powers to draw the perfect diamond from a lump of coal. It is possible for a person to change, but only if they want to. Not because you want them to.
So, when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
It really is better that way. I promise.
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