Day 51: Accepting Mistakes

A quick note before I begin.  I hope the levity of the photo selections doesn't take away from the gravity of what I'm saying.  I promise, I'm 100% serious about the post.  I just also like making jokes.

There are times in our lives when we all make terrible choices.

 Hey, remember that time we all got trashed, and then let Benjamin use the sharp knives to open the cheese?

These can stem from anything.  Sometimes we're reckless, and don't think things through.  Some of us are suffering from trauma that pushes us in unhealthy directions.  Some of us just have deeply buried insecurities that sway our choices.  In the end, the reason we made a bad choice is only relevant so that we can avoid doing it in the future.  For the present, we still have to deal with the choice we made, regardless of why we made it.

 Oh, spray tan.  Why didn't I think twice?

I have a hard time with that.  It's hard for me to look at my life choices and be confronted with my mistakes, and accept that whatever conundrum I'm in at the moment is the direct result of my own actions.  It's much more fun to blame other people for their actions.  But I've found, at least for me, it's always easier to come to terms with life when I realize that--intentional or not--I was in control of the ride.  It's hard, but it's better in the long run.

I sincerely regret how much of this pie I ate.

So I'm trying to accept my mistakes.  Not repent them, or agonize over them (although I've repented a lot of them, and agonized over more than one) but simply accept them.  Accept that there were times in my life that I wasn't as brave as I should have been.  Times when I wasn't as compassionate or caring as I could have been.  Times when I wasn't as wise as I someday hope to be. 

I try to accept that I am a flawed individual, and that my flaws sometimes lead me to mistakes.  That--regardless of how I feel about the mistake--I would not be living the life I have now without each step of the journey, including the faulty ones.

 Worth every mistake along the way.

I say "try" because, of course, it's easier to say it than to do it.  There are times that I fail spectacularly, lying awake at night wishing desperately that I could go back in time and stop myself from being a complete dumbass.

Oh, well.  We'll just add that to the list of mistakes.